"Knock-knock"
"Who's there?"
"Tim"
"Tim who?"
"Tim Allen"
This one's a party favorite. Everybody knows Tim Allen is a joke, but making his career's fate into one of teh knock-knock variety pwns
By a pound, I mean a decent-sized portion, unless you're on weight watchers and are used to really small portions, then it will seem really big, but it's just a normal-sized portion. And by meat, I mean text. And by eat, I mean read.